he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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