I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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