I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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