There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
