Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think my moral compass just broke
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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