is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
