she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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