Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
