Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
