smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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