omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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