Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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