she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
