Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
