she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
