But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
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