Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
this boner is exhausting
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
