i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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