I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
