He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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