The maid of honor just puked.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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