Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
