Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
