More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
