It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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