Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
