Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
