he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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