I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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