Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
