We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
