This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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