He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
