Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
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