i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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