We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
