Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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