Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
