Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
