You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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