we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
