but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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