the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
