He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Randomize
