I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
