ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
