Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
