I look better un-naked...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
