You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
