Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
