So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
false alarm. still invincible.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
