we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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